Saturday, February 16, 2013

Trying to make sense

In troubled times, the human mind seeks reason to deal with all the nonsense. We desperately try to unscramble events to find logic.

My grandfather has been in the hospital for two months. Most of which has been spent in the I.C.U. He has been terminally sick for 3 years now.

I remember him as a giant of a man. Not so much because he was over 6 feet tall, but mostly because of his personality. In my eyes, he stood for all that is just and fair. His actions, thoughts, and words always reflected a thoughtful, sharp mind. Never one to raise his voice or use harsh words, he was the one we all depended on for strength, courage and wisdom.

I imagined that when ever the time came for him to meet his maker, it would be dignified, painless and peaceful. But life has proved it to be otherwise. He has been struggling in the I.C.U for a big chunk of the last two months. Reduced to not even a shadow of the man I knew him to be.

Every one is shocked at the senseless void and pain he has been existing in. All are wondering how could a man like him, who sacrificed everything for his family, be destined for such a painful end. There seems no sense in all of this. And yesterday, unable to find meaning, I assured myself that it was the price his soul had to pay in order to achieve moksha. And somehow, it all makes me feel a bit more at peace.

Such is the human mind :(